I Swear, This Time, I Mean It.

My last entry made me sound terribly unhappy with my life… let me fix that first of all.

Whilst I was someone else entirely when I was with him, I’m a much better person without him. I’m far more well-rounded, spending more and more time with my friends every week. I work out more, which isn’t just helping me lose the weight I’ve spent my life being insecure about, but is also keeping me fit! I study harder, and generally try harder in all areas of my life. And whilst I’ll admit that being with him was the happiest time in my life, in many ways I’m happier now. With my social circle. With my career path. With myself.

And being able to pick yourself up after the steepest of falls, brush off your remains, and completely turn your life around? That takes real inner strength… and a bloody good support system. I think it was then that I realised my friends were the real source of my happiness. It’s not about the boy. Or envisioning your ‘happy ever after’. It’s about the people who’ll be there when the boy turns out to be a heartbreaker, or a liar, or a cheater.. And these past few weeks, I’ve really re-strengthened my bond with those people.

It’s largely down to them that I had one of the best weekends of my life, inspiring laughter so deep and real that it literally made my sides hurt. It’s down to their example that I pulled my head out of the clouds and patched things up with the boy I’ve wanted since I was 17. And then he helped make my weekend good too! As did a surprise visit from my brother, who I love more than anyone else in the whole world :)

I’m actually really happy with my life. Time to sit back, put my feet up and bloody enjoy it, I’d say!

xx